Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
