Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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