Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
