dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
