Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize