the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
