What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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