I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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