You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
