Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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