weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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