proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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