why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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