Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
