My friends, they love my intelligence
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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