Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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