Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize