Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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