Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
