Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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