I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
