I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
