he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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