u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
