This girl is more easily done than said...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
