she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
