Me too!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
