I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
