Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
