hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
