When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
