Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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