Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
