I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
