Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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