so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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