Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
