So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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