And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
