its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
