that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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