Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize