Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
