hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
