My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
