evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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