Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
