so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
