hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
