Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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