I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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