the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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