i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
