this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
