i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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