How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
