paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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