just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
