East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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